changing but staying the same???

people often tell me to "stay the same".

darn..suddenly joeMcIntyre comes up...
."..and i hope u always stay the same..lalala"
that darn cute face i use to have a huge crush on
(way back when NKOTB* was the In Thing..har har har)
behind him u will see big chest ladies in robes (like a choir) and makin it all feel so gospel..

neways...back to "stay the same" bit...
(before i analyse wht the F**** was i thinkin havin a cursh on a such a boi..haha)...
i L.O.V.E myself too much..i dunt ever want to change...
(well so sometimes i go too hardo n myself..but all in the spirit to b the besh!)

i look back at my year book.."class of 96" and 90% says i shoulda wish and words like
" hope farah, that u stay the same/stay cute/ stay cubby.... "
and so i took it positiveLy...
they like the way i already am..so changes is a no need thing for me...

but i forgot..i may not want to change...
but things around me do...
and like it or not...there will come a point that one will have to face it.

i always see change as something sad...something bad...something that wil make me feel abit out of place...make me feel useless..(well not useless..but out of place)

i also see changes happend due to an event, accident...some life turning sort of event that changes one person to the extent they stop believing in things they use to love...or things they use to trust...

the fear of the unknown...that's wht kept me on my toes...i mean its normal...when in a routineLife which consist of just makin yourself eppy...its hard to face the fact that you will have to change...just so you wont get stuck behind time
(like NKOTB*..jippers..hehe)

it kept coming coming n coming... and as much as i wanted to resist...
it just keeps on crawling back

and so i adjust...improvise...find the positives..and the smiles out of it...
i had to force myself to get use to it...
live wit it- that is wht i always tell myself
no regrets!
life goes on..
on all other shits just to make feel ok

but i learnt one thing ....
no matter how much ive changed...or how much life is changing...
be it...change my taste of music, the way i dress, type of car i drive, the type of men i would choose to spend my life with, change workplaces, change bosses...

at the end of the day..(or my life.should it end this very next line..)
i look at myself.and i still see the same me i was 27 years ago..

still crazy for chocs.
still anak abah.
still wit my bantal busuk
(tho not the same one..it has gone thru some changes as well..)
still confuse about things..
just standing still.....

why do i talk about change?
cause things around me are changing...

ive changed my work.no more late nites of work
ive changed my life. no more late nites of loneliness
ive changed my view. no more negativity
i've changed alot. but im still the same curry

(am i makin any sense here?)

Curry-n-herCrap

*NKOTB-New Kids On The Block